Am I a HaPpY mAn......

I was ever wondering wad people
would see my whole life would be??

the question is am I a happy person??
well tis is actually very hard to say
already
after i tink back abt it recently

people always say tat ur childhood
would usually influence ur type of person
later on wen u grow
as i always hope tat tis is not rly true...

cuz the fact is tat i always believe
my childhood have been very tense
under my.... should i say leader of the family
my father.....

not to offend him or anythin but sometimes
i feel tat tis fustration and anger tat my
father have always given me never seems
to die down....

its been very hard for me to actually calm myself
down wenever somethin similar happening again
i believe tis is a matter of freedom i would say

i always believe tat my father did tis because
of his love towards us...
but i am just wondering n tinking
sometimes being a little bit too much
of being too protective could cost me my life
and of course my freedom

I believe but not to blame on it too much
i have to find my own way to be the
person something not like my father

ive been doing my best all tis time to be
someone who could not be me..
im not rly sure now whether the type of person
tat i am now is actually the real me....

but i would like to thanx all my frens n people
who share the freedom wit me
make me to the new person tat i am now
ever since i was let free under my parents control

which is why i am always thankful the way
all of u believe tat i am a very positive person
because tat is wad i ve been trying to be around u guys
i am not forcing myself to be someone i am not
because I WANT TO BE TAT POSITVE person

i wan to be someone who is almost
like my own uncle
but i do not want to say tis
for the purpose of insult to my dad
because i will still love him n appreciate wad
he have given n done to me
because he have given me chance of the lifetime
in my education life before wen i failed him

n tat decision n chance he have given me
have actually created anothe mini adventure
n my life n tat is the adventure
of my life in SIS n CIMP

he have actually given me the chance
to meet all of u out there
in SIS N CIMP to get to know
n be frens wit all of u

not to forget all my previous skool fren
who have started my new life together wit me
back in Penang

I guess i should stop here as
it is bad to actually go through tis in depth here
I am truly sori for all the readers
abt tis post
as it is very emotional post tat i hv posted
n spill out of my heart tat i hv kept for a long time
wenver somethin involving me n father happen

n finally i would like to apolagize to my own family
tat as they would know i will never have the hard
to fight them back no matter how bad the situation is
as controlling the feeling n following wad they say
is one of the best way to tis solution.......

PEACE OUT^^